Armed with a promise and a packet of information, with hands shaking, we applied to our agency.
I knew we looked crazy. (Our girls were 6 months, 3 and 5 at the time, by the way)
I felt crazy.
But we were being obedient. Just obedient. That's it.
Not hero's, not life-savers, not "we're-out-to-change-the-world-one-child-at-a-time" kinda people.
Just obedient. Just...we'll adopt this little girl and life will go right back to normal....
But something changed...."normal" suddenly felt boring....lifeless...."shallow end-ish."
And 5 years later, I'm still daily amazed at where I find myself. How God has used
I got a phone call last night...turns out there are office staff in Jackson, MS reading this blog (hi, y'all!).
And, learned there's a mama in FL that sits and weeps as she reads and wonders, "is God calling us to do this??"
And another mama in GA who reads and emails...."if God can come thru for you for that, surely He can come thru for me for this."
And if I'm being honest......and I suppose I should be.... I would tell you that I never asked the Lord for any of this. And it's a good thing the Lord only let's us see so much...cause I probably would've run just like Jonah did...totally in the opposite direction!
I have a friend. The Lord has knit our souls together much like He did David and Jonathan. And I always tell her, "The Lord speaks to you in huge, neon signs!!" I mean, when He wants to make a point to her, it's waaaayyy obvious!! I'm constantly telling her, "I want a neon sign too!!" I want the Lord to make it very obvious when He's trying to make a point to me!
This week...I got my neon sign.
In too many ways to count and most of it too personal to post. But let me just say this:
God uses the unlikely.
I could sit all.day.long. and give the Lord one hundred and one reasons why I'm not the right person for what He's calling me to. That surely He made a mistake, and that surely someone else is better equipped, better spoken, and better put together. But in the "upside down" Christian life, where last is first, and less is more, and lower means higher, and poor means rich....unlikely means, you guessed it.... likely.
So here is where I find myself. With an unlikely calling, unlikely children, and even unlikely friends. All totally wrapped up in a package that has God's name written on every page, chapter and volume. Even the (numerous) pages that are stained and wrinkled and quite honestly, I would rather have totally ripped out so that nobody could read.
The "Familyman" at our church wrote this, and I got it in the mail today.. (see the flashing PINK neon?!)
"How often do we think of the word "unlikely" of ourselves when it comes to God using us for his service? How often do we judge based on looks or ability? We are much too quick to choose for God and far too slow just to surrender our heart to His will for our lives....it's time to stop telling God we can't. He already knows that. He just wants you to realize that He can and He will. He doesn't want our ability, just our yes."
Fact is, we have to get to the end of ourselves. And then the next day, we have to do it all over again. I love what Ann says, "When you come empty, God comes to fill." We have to empty ourselves of our excuses, our fears (a whole 'nother blog post), and just give Him our yes.
Whatever it is you are wrestling with the Lord over today...I encourage you to just give.it.up. Lay your sweet face right there on the floor and just GIVE. IT. UP. ( I can hear Beth Moore in my ear saying, "look at the woman seated next to you and say to her "GIVE IT UP!" :) which you can TOTALLY do...even if the person sitting next to you is a 19 month old :)
Just be obedient.
And leave the results up to Him.
Give Him your yes. Your YES!!!!
And watch in humbled amazement at what He can do with your little 'ole ordinary, unlikely, life.
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."