Thursday, September 16, 2010

Just a note to those who are thinking about, or are in the process of, adoption...

Let me just take a minute to give some advice to those of you who are praying through or somewhere in the process of bringing a child home to your family. I think somewhere in the world of "adoption blogging" there is painted a rosy, "fairytale like" senerio that is in actuality very rarely played out behind the computer screens. As a China program coordinator (bet some of ya'll didn't know I even was that!) for a small agency, I have the unique opportunity to be on the front lines with families on this road, even as I walk it again in my own life. So here ya go...some of the things that people DON"T tell you, about this amazingly wonderful, yet difficult journey.

1. Don't believe all the blogs. People can put a perfect picture of a smiling toddler who has just screamed bloody murder for 2 hours and say everything is going great. Want to really know what adoption is like? ASK.

2. Don't go into this to "rescue" a child. If you want to rescue something, go to the local dog pound. Adoption is a lifelong, physical and emotional attachment to a child, and if you think you are the "rescuer" you will be sorely disappointed. This is your child, and he or she will never see you as the "rescuer" they will see you as mom or dad.

3. Don't expect your family and friends to be thrilled. Thankfully, most of them come around! They may not agree or love the "idea" but most will fall in love with the child. If they don't, Lord help them when they stand before Him. Be obedient to the calling He has placed on your life and let others deal with it how they need too. That's just how I feel. God expects and blesses obedience.

4. Do expect to be under spiritual attack. The link below is one of the MOST well written blogs about this issue. I feel like I could have written it myself, it's everything I want to communicate to people who are beginning this process! Listen to me...the Enemy DOES NOT want these children in our homes. Once you commit to the process YOU HAVE A RED AND WHITE TARGET ON YOUR FOREHEAD! Read this:'s+Almost+Naptime!!)
When we were working to bring Ashley home, we experienced this full on. I had an unexpected surgery. Annalyse had TWO unexpected surgeries in 5 months. Appliances broke. Transmissions went out. I remember at one point saying out loud "Satan if you could KINDLY LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE!!!!!"
This time around, I thought we were spared. Not so. This time it's an emotional can't do this, you can't afford this, people think you are STRANGE, you are not good enough, you are not strong enough, etc, etc, etc,etc......over and over an over....

5. Do expect adoption to For the good. You go into this process thinking it's about what you can do for an orphan, and come out of it believing that it had everything in the world to do with what they can do for you. I have learned more about the Lord and His love and His character and His promises in the last 3 years!!!

6. Do expect a love that you never thought possible. Can you love a child not born to you? ABSOLUTELY. Will you forget they don't look like you? YES. Will you wonder why you have black hair in the bathtub when all your children are blonde? ummmm...OK, maybe just me...see, told ya you forget they are any different! 

I have more!! Stay tuned for Part II!


  1. Emily,

    Thanks for the honesty. Adoption is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life...and also the biggest blessing. Thanks for being one of my long distance, cyber friends who can support and encourage me through some of these rough spots.

    Each day brings us closer to those precious sweeties,

  2. Great Post and so true. Thanks for laying it out there girl.