Monday, April 9, 2012

In case you're on a lonely road.....

This post is for you.

The mama who's seemingly walking this road of adoption alone.

The Lord has called your family to do this crazy, crazy thing....and people just don't get it.

You announce you're adopting and you get blank stares....and maybe a "wow....umm...that's so good!"

You bring your updated pictures of the child you're dying to hold to show people and they barely take a second glance. They ask how you can be so emotionally tied to a child you've never seen or touched.

Maybe you don't live in a big city, with lots of adoption "playgroups" and fellowships and support. Yet the calling is the same, and you are moving forward in obedience nonetheless.

People make remarks and comments that are hurtful and leave you in the bathroom in tears.

All your adoption friends are from RQ (don't play, you know it's true!!!!!!! ).

There's no need for an "airport shirt" because there's not an airport party happening.

People see a big happy family, when the reality is your child is screaming her brains out several hours of the day.

If this is you, I'd bet at this point you're in tears already. We've been home from our first trip for 3.5 years now, and I'm crying with you, sister.

I'd love to encourage you.

*The Lord is near to you......He wants to be your stronghold. He loves that child more than you do. He saw her face when He formed her and He longs for her to be in your arms. He's working even when you don't feel it. He is "a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). And maybe, He's using this hard season to teach you to lean on HIM. And Him alone. He's gently whispering, "this is the way, walk in it.." (Isaiah 30:21).  Embrace this season, as hard as it is. You will learn more about His comfort and dependence on His Word than you ever have in your life. You will be stronger for it, and know Him in a deeper way than if you had walked a different road, I can assure you. I know it's painful, and I know it doesn't seem fair. And if I'm honest, my flesh wants to agree. It's not fair. But it's where the Lord has you, and if you'll fight the flesh to be bitter and angry, and allow the Lord to hold your heart and keep you tender, He will do an amazing work in you.

*You are NOT alone....if you have to make connections through RQ, MAKE THEM :)

You'll find friends like Lara, and Leslie, Jenn, Tonya, and Petrie.  These women held my hand through the computer screen for over a year and many I have never met in person. They cried when we got our LOA after 126 blasted days and became my cheer squad when the Lord called us back a second time. I recently met Naomi, a friend whom I had emailed back and forth a LOT back then....we saw each other for the first time a few weeks ago at an adoption retreat, and the first thing she said was, "I was in China when you got your LOA! I cried tears of JOY!" And I had never spoken to or met her face to face before two weeks ago. The Lord may not give you people around you physically, but He will provide you a support if you'll reach out to the adoption community!

*The Lord never, ever wastes an experience. EVER. He just may be preparing you to walk someone else down this road. So that she doesn't have to do it without a friend. So that the mama's after you, can cry and vent and you can hold their hand and point them towards Him. I recently went to the beach with my best friend and alllll our crazy kids. Her family is adopting from Ethiopia. When we were taking beach pictures, she (in the craziness that is beach pictures with 8 kids) turned slightly to me, and we locked eyes and she  said, "something for Lily?"

And instantly, my heart physically felt a pain. That pain of, "this family picture just isn't complete...we need to do something." So we did. And we moved on to the next set of shots. But I got it. (we didn't do Christmas cards in 2008 because it was just way too painful...)

And y'all sometimes, the Lord walks us through things, just so we can walk another through it. Our pain and hurt has a purpose.

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

So hang in there....stay the course. Embrace the hard, lonely season, and know that the Lord has a plan and His plan is always, always, always for our good. Live your life obediently before the Lord, and He will bless and prosper you, and HE will be your strong hold. And get ready for the will rise as sure as the dawn!!

{waiting to hold hands with Lily}

*If you are walking this and resonate with this post, can you comment so I can pray with you? It would be an honor.


  1. What a great post -- honest and vulnerable and hopeful too. And, Petrie has been a friend to me too. :) We were both logged in in July 2007 and connected way back then - can't believe that she's adopted three since then! :)

  2. And Kelly, guess what?? we traveled with her way back then, then 2 years later she moved TO OUR TOWN, and I am her current social worker :))))) Only GOD!

  3. What a beautiful HOPE you have given me and all the other Mothers who are longing for the fulfillment of their hearts desire. So beautiful Emily! Mind if I share this on my blog and link others back here? I have a friend adopting from ET who would especially be blessed to read this.

    And I LOVE that we finally met!!! What a surprise when you came over to me! You are indeed a special family and have always been such an encouragement to us. I would love for you to pray for us as we step out again into some very uncertain stormy waters.

  4. Ahhh, I was doing ok until I saw Kim's family pic. It is such a weird place to be. Right now it just seems like some fairy tale story I've made up. I personally don't know where I would be without the support of friends I've made through the adoption blogging world. Some of whom I have never met or I rarely get to see, but I am thankful for their presence and encouraging words. Like you my friend! What a blessing!

  5. "People see a big happy family, when the reality is your child is screaming [his] brains out several hours of the day." Yes. This. Thanks for the hope. Though this journey is way harder than I could have ever dreamed, the Lord has been exceedingly faithful. :)

  6. Love you anna! And Jerusha, I've been there. It will get better!!! I promise you it WILL GET BETTER!!! Praying for you! Naomi, you can use it however you want too :)

  7. What is RQ? Is that an "international adoption" thing? Sorry to be clueless...

  8. Rumor

  9. I'm so thankful for your obedience in walking out your adoptions. The literal fruit you see everyday, but I get to feast on the spiritual fruit of it! Thank you for sharing it with me!! And the physical ones too ♥ I love you!

  10. Waiting for our LOA. Thanks for the great verses and great words...praying for my own BF. :)

  11. Wow I love this post! I can truly say that the hardest days of our adoption are over, but it is surely still a daily struggle! Daily! It's so helpful to be encouraged and remember that YES, God is indeed using all of these difficulties to teach me something. Thanks for the reminder!

  12. A friend recommended your blog-love it already! I'm going back and catching up and this post is the BEST EVER. We're in the process of adopting a little boy from China w/ albinism.